Resolute in Resolutions?

The new year will be upon us shortly. 2012... can you believe it? New years
come with the hope of new beginnings. Already this week, I've noticed what 
seems like more runners out hitting the pavement in what I'd imagine is a 
head start on their resolutions. One somewhat older gentleman I observed 
looked like he should've had a paramedic following him down the road... just
in case. 


The end of one year and the start of another causes me to ponder what I'd 
like to change in my life. If I could narrow it down, I want to be more disciplined 
when it comes to my quiet time with the Lord, be sure to actually open my Bible 
daily and in my housework. It's been difficult having two kids four and under 
and being pregnant to keep up with the house and laundry. It's much easier to 
sit and type than to hall around the vacuum or heaping baskets of clothes that 
never end. And as far as my Bible reading and prayer time, well I don't have 
any excuses for that. 


I'd also love to acquire a literary agent this next year. I'm trusting the Lord will
continue to guide me in this search, and all will come to pass in His good 
timing. In the mean time, I continue to refine what I've written and have started
on a new project. 


I love the idea of new beginnings. Intentions are great, but I can't help but
think about follow through, that discipline deal. How can I be sure to not
let the new changes slip away as the months go by? 

1. Take a lesson from Nike and "Just do it!" Stop making excuses.
2. Ask the Lord for help when I just don't feel like it. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). 
3. Remember that when I work, whether at my job or doing laundry at home, I do it for the Lord. Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."

I take these points to heart as the new year approaches. Do you plan to make

any New Year's resolutions? Do you have a plan or strategy on how to keep them?

God's Grace is Sufficient

With my kids temporarily entranced by Word World, I must literally hurry up 
and write my post for this week, which has been one of the most difficult
since I've been pregnant. My all-the-time sickness has been intense. 
Yesterday, I was sure I'd puke all over the grocery store floor. By the 
grace of God, that didn't happen. The rest of the day, I was couch-bound,
unable to move. As difficult as this week has been, I remember that 
my new little one is well worth it, and I'm relieved to be within a month
of my second trimester, when I'll hopefully feel much better. 


Why is it when I'm not feeling well my dear, sweet, adorable children 
sense my weakness and run through the house like they're competing
in the 100 yard dash? High-pitched screams drown out any other 
competing noises, children collide into each other, the house is 
a disaster zone, dishes are piled up in the sink, laundry is lurking
in the basement, revisions are impatiently waiting on my laptop,
my Bible is longing to be opened, and all I can think is "God help
me!" 


I remember, "My grace is sufficient for you," and that God will not give
me more than I can bear. God is good. I've been relying on Galatians 
5 and Psalm 23. In Galatians, we read about the Fruits of the Spirit, one
of which is peace. Peace is a Fruit of the Spirit. If I abide in the Lord, I 
have peace. In Psalm 23, we are told the "Lord is our Shepherd (to
feed, guide and shield), I shall not lack," in the Amplified. That 
encompasses all of our needs. No matter what we're going through, 
God is our Strength and our Hope. He is our Rock. He knows what we 
need before we ask. God meets us where we are, and He loves us
where we are. 


I know what I'm going through is temporary, and God will give me 
the strength to endure, to be a good mom, and to accomplish what
I need to do. I'd appreciate your prayers over the next few weeks as
I come to the end of my first trimester. I'm also determined to work 
on some revisions today during the munchkins' nap time. :)

Hearing God's Voice: In the Ringer... Again.

Remember times in your life when you had to learn something over 
and over... and over again. I feel like I'm in a repeat wash cycle of 
life. Similar to how a washer with an agitator uses movement  to 
remove the unwanted from clothes, I'm irritated by events in my life 
that are causing an uncomfortable friction in my soul. 


One of the things God is teaching me is to hear His voice verses what 
I want Him to say. Last week I had a small possibility of going to a 
writing conference. I'm writing a children's picture book series that 
incorporates prayer into each story. So when I happened upon Writing 
for the Ages, a conference specifically for Christian children's writers, 
naturally, I was excited. The main feature that drew me to this conference 
was that it focuses on the the craft of writing, not on "how to be published,"
but simply writing itself. 


Don't get me wrong. Learning how to become published is important, 
and one needs to know the business side of writing. However, I feel 
like the stronger one's writing is, the better chance one has at achieving 
published author status. Let's not forget why we're blogging and networking, 
let's not forget out love of crafting a story so that it touches the hearts of 
those who read it.


I so wanted to go to this conference, but limited finances available, I prayed 
if it was God's will that He would make a way. Days passed, and I became 
nervous. I was having difficulty scraping funds together and securing 
childcare. After an emotional conversation with God last friday, I concluded 
it wasn't His timing for me to go this year. After a few tears, I felt peace erase 
my fatigue and regret. God is all powerful, omniscient, and above all good.
He wants what's best for me, and I must rest in that knowledge. Now this
week, I'm once more facing a situation where I must put my wants aside
and truly listen for God's voice to guide me, hence the rewash cycle. 
With His grace, I'll make the right choice. If I'm seeking His will, God 
won't lead me down the wrong path. 


As far as the Writing for the Ages conference, I'll be saving up to go 
next year (they're fairly certain they'll have it again).  I've attached 
a link for anyone who wants to save their pennies for next year
as well. 


http://www.navigators.org/us/ministries/gleneyrie/retreats/cornerstone/writingfortheages

The Nap Time Dilemma

This last week has been interesting. My role as Mommy has been tested 
in multiple ways from multiple directions, and I sit now watching hurricane 
coverage (being a huge weather junkie), completely exhausted, wishing
work would call and cancel me for the 7 - 11 "princess shift" I'm scheduled
to work tonight. Why so spent? 


I'll begin at the logical place... the beginning. Last Saturday and Sunday 
were great. We had my daughter's first "friend" birthday party with three
other adorable munchkins. They had a blast. The two hours flew by 
in a similar fashion to how our giant schnauzer/boxer mix chases rabbits 
through the back yard. Did you see that black streak go by? Thankfully, the 
evidence of whirlwind-like childish energy was contained to my daughter's 
bedroom. She had such a great time that she's still talking about it. 


On Sunday we had all the in-town family over to celebrate. Again Avalon 
had a wonderful time. She loves her extended family and is in heaven when 
we are all together. After the party I raced to a writer's meeting. My second 
ever and my first specifically for children's book writers. The meeting was 
helpful, encouraging, and informative. I was also able to give out some advice 
as well, instead being only on the receiving end. Looking back over the 
last eight months, I can see my growth as a writer, and it's exciting. 


On Monday, my husband drove to a neighboring state for work and just 
came home on Thursday. I dislike being alone, especially going to sleep
alone. When Jason's gone, I find myself staying up way too late, which 
usually leads to crankiness the following day. Through to Wednesday,
I was pretty proud of myself, then Thursday came. 


Thursday morning I had it good. Both my kiddos were at mom's day out
(what we call "school"). I went to Target by myself, did the dishes, and 
watched Rachel Ray. Thursday afternoon, Avalon decided to assert 
a new found independence, having reached the grown-up age of four.
Avalon usually has a hard time going to sleep, so my solution has been 
to sit in her rocking chair, reminding her to "be still" and "stop moving." 
Now, I know you're probably thinking Just let her stay up. She's four now! 
I tried letting her go without a nap for an entire week last month. It was
a disaster, and I think I acquired a few more white hairs by the end of it.


Usually my strategy of getting her to be still works like a charm, causing
her to slip into REM cycles within minutes. However, this day that wasn't
happening. She refused to be still, and despite all my creative incentives
and negative consequences, nap time never happened. After an hour and
a half, I found myself in tears after she matter-of-factly stared me down 
while ignoring my directions to put her head on her pillow yet one more time.


Knowing that the tears sent the wrong message, I went downstairs to regroup
and called my husband. Although he'd be home in a few hours, I needed
help then and there. He calmly spoke to the defiant one while I cleaned her
room out from distractions (a.k.a. new toys from B-day) and noticed she had
put the phone down so she didn't have to listen to her father. Who is this?
A seventeen year old in my four year old's body? I handed her back the phone.
Once their conversation was done, I retreated downstairs, found some 
chocolate, and prayed. 


Thoughts raced through my head such as I'm a horrible mother and Why don't 
I know what to do? A conversation with my older sister was extremely helpful,
relating to me what she had to do with her youngest during a similar phase 
a couple years ago. She had him take a nap every other day. What a great idea!


In a nutshell, my little girl is growing up, and amidst psychological minds games,
stare-downs, and full-out tantrums, I have to remember that growing up isn't 
easy, for parent or child. I need to allow her room to grow while still protecting 
her health, emotions, and sweet spirit. What a delicate balance. I definitely need 
God's help to be able to do this right. Today, Avalon and I talked about the 
every other day nap idea. She laughed and squealed with delight. Today's nap 
time was very different. All of her toys and stuffed animals are still in the hall, 
but with the knowledge that she'll get to be nap-free tomorrow, Avalon laid still 
and drifted to sleep within minutes. So here I sit, watching hurricane coverage, 
exhausted from the week, but with new found hope that the nap time dilemma is 
at least temporarily solved. Did I mention that James (22 months) screamed our 
entire time in Target this morning (forgot diapers yesterday)? But that's an 
entirely different story all together. 


For all of you on the east coast, be careful the next few days, and I'm praying
for minimal damage and safety for all who will be affected.

The Wayward Lamb

On a steamy summer's evening, I rummaged through our family van, searching
for a dearly loved stuffed lamb. It had been days since I'd seen my daughter's
favorite stuffy. The van was the last clear memory I had of the wayward lamb. I 
had called the various stores we had visited that week, but none of them had 
seen it. Now, I carefully combed the only possible place it could be. I had 
checked everywhere in the house, the laundry room, the kid's rooms, 
my room, the playroom, under couches and chairs, inside backpacks and 
pretend purses. 


The latest search of the van left me with the same results - nothing. Devastated,
I returned inside and asked my husband for help. We prayed, and he reassured 
me that the lamb would turn up. His nonchalant attitude irritated me. Didn't he 
understand that this was a big deal? Avalon had slept with this lamb since she
was one; we had to find it! 


Seeing my distress worsen (as evidenced by my tears), Jason went to work as 
well, going through things I already had. Then, he bolted up the stairs. What 
had he thought of? He emerged from the kid's bathroom with the little stuffed
lamb. My daughter had placed it in the step stool compartment. Relief rushed
over me like a wave. This time tears of joy rushed down my cheeks. All I could
think was, Thank you, Lord, thank you, Lord! 


I crept into my daughter's room and placed the lamb beside her in the bed.
She had almost been asleep. Her sleepy eyes took in the sight of her long
lost lamb (a few days is forever to a three year old) and the sweetest smile
I'd ever seen appeared on her lovely little face. 


I thought of the parable Jesus told about the woman who searched her whole
house for a lost coin and the one sheep the shepherd sought after, leaving 
ninety-nine to find the one. I related to the overwhelming joy of finding 
something considered to be precious and irreplaceable. This is how God
feels when we return to and surrender our lives to Him, overwhelmed
with joy and thanksgiving. I am grateful that God loves us so much, that
He not only gave His only Son to save us from eternal separation from Him,
but He also cares enough to help us find our lost stuffed lambs. 


Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a 
lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she 
has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with 
me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy 
before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.   Luke 15: 8 - 10, ESV 
(English Standard Version)

My Life: A Prayer List being Answered, Part 4

God has fulfilled so many of my dreams and prayers throughout my life. I am 

so blessed with all that He has given me. But as the childhood and young 

adulthood prayers come to pass, new ones emerge. Growing up, I never 

saw myself as a writer and never imagined I'd be venturing out into the 

unknown world of children's literature. 

In the spring of 2010, when I first felt a tug on my heart to write a children's 

book, I could also never have known just what having a children's book 

published would entail. I have learned so much in the last year, not only 

about writing, but about myself. When faced with the reality of the 

publication process, I had to ask myself, How much do I really want this?

What it came down to is this - if God gave me this desire to write for children, 

then there must be a reason, and I must see it through. 

My prayer for this new endeavor is that I following God's leading and 

direction beyond publication. He is the One who gave me this desire to write 

for children, and I want to be sure to honor Him in all that I do now and in the 

future. I pray for my characters to be relatable, funny, quirky, and adventurous, 

like most children I know. I pray that I keep God first, not only in this area of 

my life, but in all areas. God should be first and foremost, then family, and then 

work. I believe keeping these priorities straight will help me maintain some 

sort of balance as I strive to serve Christ, be a great wife and mother, work 

part time outside the home, keep up with the house, and write. 

Where am I in this process? I'm in the middle of some research involving

how best to revise your stories. I am reading Writing Picture Books by Ann

Whitford Paul, which has so far been packed full of great information on 

forming and revising picture book stories. For those of you who don't know,

a picture book is not a book with just pictures, but it is a classification

of a book that is for young children, roughly ages 2 - 8. I am about half

way through it, and given the opportunity, I should have it done by the 

end of the week. Much of what I am reading is affirming concepts I am 

already implementing in my work, but I do see some areas I can adjust

a bit. After I am finished reading, I'll scrutinize the three and a half stories

I have written in my children's book series to be sure they are the absolute

best they can be. I will then be pretty close to resubmitting to a literary agent

I'd love to work with. Until then, I'm trusting God to lead me and guide me

in all that I do. 

Do you have a prayer list, either written or in your heart? How has God

proven His faithfulness to you over the years?

My Life: A Prayer List being Answered, Part 3

I am so thankful that God directs the steps of those who love and serve Him.

There were several different paths I could have traversed as I came into 

adulthood, various carriers I could have chosen. What I would be when

I grew up changed many times as I grew older, but I was sure to always

include in my prayers for God's will to come to pass in my career choice.

When I was eight or nine, I remember wanting to be an archeologist more

than anything. Discovering artifacts from an ancient civilization seemed

so interesting and adventurous. A few years later, I watched Raiders of the 

Lost Ark, and while I loved the movie, I decided I loved life much more than

risking falling prey to a fatal booby trap. Besides, there are finite number of

objects that are waiting to be discovered, not very good job security, I 

rationalized to myself and moved on. 

I turned to dreams of becoming a marine biologist. Again this was fascinating

and adventurous and certainly would be a good choice. For a brief time, my

sisters shared my dream, and we were to be famous marine biologist sisters

working together to... . I'm not sure what. I can't remember why I decided 

against marine biology, but it could have been something to do with

shark week on the discovery channel. 

I briefly considered being a doctor or a teacher, but the thought of misdiagnosing

someone or grading papers the rest of my life squashed those ideas. I even

thought of being a nurse for a while, but when I realized I'd have to give shots, 

causing pain, I changed my mind. I wanted to help people, not hurt them.

And so, when it was time for me to go away to school, I did so with my major

"undecided." Throughout the school year, I spent hours praying for God's 

direction. "I'll do anything," I prayed, "just tell me what you want me to do."

I didn't feel any strong leading one way or another. Then one day one of the

girls in my dorm asked why I wasn't going into nursing. She pointed out that I 

was always taking care of the girls who were sick on my floor. The more

I thought about it, the more it made sense. "But I don't want to give shots,"

I protested. She countered if that was the only thing holding me back, I 

should talk to one of the other nursing majors on my floor. I took her advise

and was assured that giving shots wasn't a big deal (in that you get over it

quickly) and more importantly it was for the patient's own good. 

I spent about a week praying about pursuing nursing, and afterwards, I felt a 

strong sense of peace. That was it. I was going to be a nurse. This was in

the spring semester of my freshman year. I had wasted some time taking

classes I didn't need and had missed some classes vital to the nursing track.

Then another obstacle occurred. My parents were financially unable to send

me back to ORU (Oral Roberts University). I was devastated. I knew this was

where God wanted me to earn my degree. Why was this happening? 

The next year, I attended a local community college and took the necessary

courses to get on track with the nursing program at ORU. After months of 

prayer, I informed my parents that they didn't have to provide a penny, but

God was going to send me back to ORU. Full of faith, I finished my second

year strong and submitted my paperwork and transcripts to ORU. My 

Grandma Rose unexpectedly paid for that year in full. I was thrilled. 

I returned my third year with a new appreciation and determination 

in my schooling. I was able to secure a private loan for my fourth year,

and for my fifth year (thanks to that first year of being "undecided") I 

joined ROTC for a one year scholarship with a 4 year commitment to

the Air Force upon my graduation. Had I known about the ROTC program

earlier I would have been able to skip the unfortunate private loan. 

I graduated in "03 Summa Cum Laude, passed my nursing boards the next 

month, left for San Antonio the month after that for 6 weeks of Field Training

(boot camp), was commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Air Force by the 

end of the summer, and so started my nursing/military career. I served in 

the USAF for four years and learned a ton of valuable lessons, both

professional and personal. Upon completing my obligation, I returned to

civilian life and accepted a job at a local hospital where I eventually 

found myself working on a postpartum ward. Not what I had pictured 

myself doing in nursing school (like cardiac ICU), but I believe God 

has guided me to my current position caring for new moms and babies.

I love it. Giving support to the new mom who isn't sure she has what it

takes to be a mom is so rewarding. 

I am so blessed, loving my job and where God has guided me. I am 

thankful for all the experiences I've had, leading me up to this point,

and forming into the person I am today. Our road in life isn't always 

easy, but when following God, it's always worthwhile. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own 

understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which 

path to take.  Proverbs 3: 5-6, NLT (New Living Translation)

   

My Life: A Prayer List being Answered, Part 2

I don't know if it is normal for a child to wonder about and pray for
her own children that will come to be some day, but as a small
person, I'd lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and dream of the life ahead
of me, of the lives for which I'd be responsible. When I was growing 
up, I had an ambitious goal of having six children some day. Once I 
was into my twenties, I thought four or five would be a good round 
number. Now, I find myself talking my husband into having just a third 
and not so secretly hoping that the next pregnancy (some day) might 
be twins so that I can sneak in the fourth. 


But as my mother has told me many times, God is the Lord of my family, 
and He knows who my children are supposed to be, when they are to 
come, and the number of them that there is to be. I now rest in that knowledge, 
God is in control. For now, my two munchkins have me pretty busy. Not only 
are they in busy phases of their lives (at 3&1/2 and 20 months), but they are also
very busy children. 


Avalon Rose is my 3 and a half year old girl. One must forget about the "half"
part of her age. She is extremely intelligent (not that I'm biased or anything)
and has been debating with me since she was two. Never one to blindly obey,
she must understand why you want her to do a certain thing and feels the need
to be in agreement with you before she does it. When she does something 
wrong, it's hard for her to admit what she's done was wrong. Instead, she 
spouts out a logical explanation of why she had to do what she had to do and 
why I, the parent, am wrong. Her capability of deduction and reason has been 
astounding since she was a toddler. If all this wasn't enough of a challenge, 
she has started the sassy talkback. I didn't think I'd have to deal with that until 
she was at least eight. I know that these personality traits in her will be a huge 
advantage when she is older. She'll stand up for herself, be a strong woman 
of God, uncompromising in her beliefs and morals. This is what I'm praying for. 

                           
Beyond her strong will, she has a charismatic personality and a creative 
imagination. I wrote in a past post that she is the one who blamed a void
of earwax on a q-tip on a mysterious monster who had "licked it out" of her
ear already. She has "pretend friends" who occasionally grace our house 
as Backyardigan characters. Once she told me at the dinner table that her
pretend friend Pablo needed some food too. I told her that since he was
a pretend friend, he could eat pretend food. This seemed perfectly logical
to her and didn't initiate her effective debating skills. Avalon also has
super human hearing. You can be having a hushed conversation in the 
car while she is otherwise occupied in the back seat, only to have her
ask you later about an aspect of your conversation that had been hushed
for a reason. My husband and I have been burned this way more than
a few times. 


James David is my bulldozer toddler, completely unstoppable. When 
he sets his mind on doing something, watch out, because nothing will 
stand in his way. I remember looking into his eyes when he was six 
months old and just learning to crawl. There was a drive and determ-
ination visibly present in his gaze that startled me. How could such a 
young baby be so intense about accomplishing a goal? Since that day,
I have seen that determination help him do pull-ups and climb 
bookshelves at only eight months, kick a soccer ball within only
two days of learning to walk (the week before his first birthday),
and squirm out of his highchair straps and stand up on the seat 
at about 15 months. He is still in the phase of not knowing fear
or having a sense of danger. To say that he keeps me on my
toes, is an understatement. 

                       
Along with all his advanced gross motor skills, he also has a strong
vivacious personality with a strong will that rivals Avalon's. For months,
we battled for control at dinner time, just for control's sake. Thankfully,
he is finally cooperating more at our evening meal, but it was touch 
and go there for a while. He started having tantrums a few months 
ago as well and over the littlest things, like not being able to play 
with a ball in the play yard when picking his big sister up from 
preschool. So there I'd go holding to my side the child who was 
kicking his legs, whipping his arms around furiously, and shrieking
as though having a knife stuck in him somewhere, through the halls
with other mother's eyeing me as I passed. I hoped they were thinking
I'm so glad that my child isn't doing that today verses What has that 
woman done to her poor child. He still has an occasional tantrum,
but they have lessened in severity, duration, and frequency. Thank
you, God. My prayer for James is that God directs his energy and 
drive into what God has prepared for him. 


Both my children are affectionate, sympathetic, loving, kind hearted,
adventurous, curious, spirited, beautiful and full of endless energy.
I am so blessed to have them in my life and so thankful to God 
for entrusting me with their upbringing and care. God certainly 
answered my prayer in bringing these wondrous children to me, and 
and am certain He will answer my prayers in regards to their futures.


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for 
welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 
Jeremiah 29:11, ESV (English Standard Version)


"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old 
he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6, ESV

My Life: A Prayer List being Answered, Part 1

Throughout all my years of growing up, I wondered what my life would 

be like when I finally reached adulthood, marriage, and children. What 

would I look like? Who would I marry? Would our meeting be romantic? 

What kind of occupation would I pursue? How many children would I 

have? So many questions swirled around my curious, imaginative brain. 

I laid awake at night and prayed for my future, for God's will to come to

pass in all the different areas of my life. Now, as I look back, I am so

thankful for those hours I spent praying. I met my husband, Jason,

at a Friday night church service. We were seated next to each other

and a mutual friend introduced us. The first thing I thought was, "He's 

pretty cute, but his wardrobe could use some help." During the service,

our pastor asked us all to hold hands during a prayer. As we clasped

our hands together something felt different, energizing. A thought 

occurred to me, "What if this is the guy I'm going to marry?" 

Now just to clarify, I'm not the kind of girl who thought this of every 

guy she met. This was a feeling, an inkling that I will never forget. We 

started seeing each other the next month, started dating the month after 

that, were engaged four months after that, and married about a year 

after we first met. We've been married over six years now, and of course

we've had our share of ups and downs, but I've never been more sure

that I married the absolute perfect person for me. I love him more that

words can express and am so happy that he is the father of my 

beautiful children. 

                              

If you are wondering if I was able to revamp his closet, I can assure

you he dresses much more age appropriate now than when I met

him. Jason offered for me to get rid of all the clothes I disliked

before we got married, the majority of which you might have found

being sported at the local homestyle cafeteria at five. To give him

credit, his sense of style has dramatically improved in the years

we've been together. I can't imagine how good he'll look by the time

we celebrate our golden anniversary. God certainly answered my

prayers concerning the love of my life. Next time, I write about another

area of my life where God has been faithful. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your

heart."  Psalm 37:4, ESV