God's Goodness through the Storm

Have you ever been forced to endure a situation so difficult you 
felt as though you could barely breathe? Have you had to witness
a loved one suffer agonizing pain? This week has been extremely
difficult for my family and me. A week ago yesterday, my mother
was diagnosed in our local ER with diverticulitis. She was sent home 
with pain meds, antibiotics, and instructions to have clear liquids only 
for 36 hours. 


That was on Thursday of last week, but on Sunday morning, my father
woke me with an urgent phone call. Her pain was severe, and could I 
come? I instructed him not to let her have anything by mouth. Being a RN, 
I suspected her bowel had perforated (hole in the intestine), which would 
definitely need surgery. At the ER, my fears were confirmed and she had 
emergency surgery that evening. We were blessed to have wonderful 
surgeons performing the surgery, and though her recovery has been slow 
and painful, she is doing remarkably well. She will probably be able to 
discharged some time this weekend. 


To say that this week has been an emotional roller coaster would be an
understatement. From moment of relief and joy to those of fear and despair,
my heart feels like it's been through an obstacle course. Through all of this,
there is one thing I cling to - God is good. He loves us and works all things 
for the good for those who love him (Romans 8:28). I know this experience
is making our family stronger, causing us to rely on each other and God 
more than ever before. 


Needless to say, I have barely touched my laptop this week. Between long
hours working at the hospital and visiting my mom, I have not been able 
to develop my fourth story I started last week. But all in good time. Right 
now, I'm focusing on my family, making sure my mom is getting everything
she needs at the hospital and answering my family's medical questions.
My mother is the sweetest, most selfless, caring person I know. I love her
more than words can express. Through all this, one of her biggest concerns
is becoming a burden to her family. I pray that I would continue to lean on 
God, casting my cares on Him, because I know He cares for us.


Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the 
proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because 
he cares for you.  1 Peter 5: 6-7, ESV

Invasion of the Wolf Spiders

Here in Missouri, we have an unfortunately high population of undesirable
eight legged creatures, namely spiders. What is one of my all time worst 
fears? Yep, spiders. One in particular that I despise is the wolf spider. It 
is big, hairy, fast, and yes, poisonous. How poisonous? I'm not really sure.
My husband looked them up on the internet and read to "seek medical advice/
help if bitten" by a wolf spider. Why am I writing about this? 


The other day, while my husband was at work, my three year old ran to the 
bathroom to go "potty," and not long after I heard deafening, horrified screams
from the direction of the bathroom. I rushed to see what had happened. Through
streams of tears, my daughter said "Spider, Mommy, spider!" 


I looked in the direction she was pointing and sure enough there was the eight
legged beast, quickly darting from here to there and back again. For a second 
I was frozen, unsure how to proceed, but my daughter's continued screams 
snapped me back to reality, and I raced to obtain a good instrument with which
to crush the intruder. My husbands heavy dress shoe was perfect - no groves in 
the sole where the hairy arachnid might escape it's fate. Upon my return, the 
spider had ducked inside the vent cover, which thankfully was closed. I picked up 
the vent and turned it upside down. As soon as the spider resurfaced, I utilized 
the shoe, making sure there were no signs of life. 


Afterwards, I cleaned up the floor and shoe sole with a disinfectant wipe, 
and then turned to my little cherub, who was still frozen on the toilet. 
"You were brave."


She looked at me with red, puffy eyes. "I was?"


"Yes," I assured her. "You were brave even though you were scared."


A big smile broke through the previously concerned look. "You were 
brave too, Mom." 


Thankfully, I had been, probably the maternal instincts kicking in. Later
that evening, it was a different story. I was working on a project, sitting on 
the couch, when in my peripheral vision, I noticed a dark blur lurking on 
the wall. Yes, it was another spider, identical to the one from earlier in the 
day. Again I went into action, leaving a smear on the wall. Enough of the 
thorax was left for my husband to identify the type of spider. It was then he 
informed me it was a wolf spider. I panicked. There had been two in one 
day and would probably be more. 


Jason noticed my look of horror. "They're not poisonous." 


"Oh yes, they are!" I countered. 


To validate his position, he google the wolf spider, but instead affirmed my 
statement to be true. My mind raced with fearful thoughts of poisonous creepy 
things crawling in my and the children's beds at night. Jason then did an online
search for scripture verses to counter one's fear. It was effective. It can be 
hard to release one's fear to the Lord, having to trust that He will protect you 
from even the tiniest sources of fear and anxiety. However once you do, 
you'll find a place of serenity and rest. 


So whether your concerned about eight legged creepy crawlers, revising 
your work in progress, putting together your book proposal, or all of the above, 
rest in the knowledge that God cares for you and desires victory for you in all 
areas of your life.  I was able to sleep that night, thanks mostly to the following
verse.


"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and 
cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and
of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."


2 Timothy 1:7, Amplified version