Friday, February 3, 2012

Want a New Distressed Look for your Home? No Problem!

Love that trendy distressed look they have for wood furniture and floors?
Want the look without the price tag? I have just the answer. Within my 
family there is one who will pound, hammer, scrap your wood furniture 
or floors providing that much desired "rustic" look and the feel you've been
searching for. True he only is about 37 inches tall and 30 pounds, but 
don't let his size deceive you. He can pack a punch harder than those
two or three times his size. 

His preferred tools are toy train engines. The tiny wheels leave the perfect 
size indentations for a store bought distressed look. If trains are not available, 
his second favorite tool is a toy wooden hammer. "Isn't that what it's made 
for?" will be the look he'll give you. The one I speak of is quite resourceful,
so if trains and toy hammers are out of reach, he'll gladly use anything lying
around, a coaster, small ottoman, remote control, and the list goes on. 

Did I mention his pricing is more than competitive? As payment for this fresh, 
new distressed look, he requires only a snack of gold fish and juice and 
possibly a diaper change, depending on how extensive the job is. His 
immediate supervisor may wish to accompany him on a job site. She's a
bit taller and will also require gold fish and juice as she directs his efforts.
Of course, the big boss herself (yours truly) will come along to make sure
the working conditions are satisfactory and the workers are being treated
well. FYI - the big boss likes dark chocolate. 

So for the price of a half a bag of gold fish, 16 ounces of juice, and a dark
chocolate candy bar, you too can have a refreshing new look on your 
current wood floors and furniture!


  1. you crack me up! "your home is, um, so lived in"...I guess I'll take that as a compliment! :)

  2. A "well lived in home" is the best kind. :)