Not Too Fast...

This week was school break for us. No preschool for the kids... no rest for 
the weary. Thankfully, the weather has been great. We've been able to 
visit multiple parks... along with the rest of the school district. It was 
difficult attempting to explain to my two year old that we had to wait for
our turn on the toddler swings, his favorite. 


Again I find myself pensive. How can time go by so quickly? Not only 
have I had my college degree for nearly ten years (gulp), but my oldest
(who you'll remember is only four), is informing me of who she will marry
when she's all grown up. My little lady has her life planned out already.
She will get married, but still live with her mommy and daddy, and have
four children, two boys and two girls. Her occupation will be, "only a 
mommy." Although today she voiced the realization that she might have
to get a job to support her four children. 


I chuckle to myself at these sweet conversations, but deep down I know 
that her grown up years aren't too far off. I think about her wedding day
and the biggest, "letting go," I'll hopefully face. It's hard enough for me 
when she's picked up for play dates with school friends. How am I going 
to handle her moving out, let alone getting married! Slow down, I remind 
myself, that's at least twenty years away, or thirty if her father has any say.


From this contemplation I'll take an appreciation of the moment and try not
to get flustered when one or both of them meltdown in public, or become 
frustrated when I find remnants of a tasty lunch all over new clothes. 
But instead I'll cherish every moment, realizing it's all part of the process, 
and make sure that above all, they know and feel how loved they are, so 
that in turn when they look back on their childhoods, they can reflect with as 
much affection as I do. 

Superhuman Mommy Senses

Earlier this week, my four year old darted away from the lunch table while 
my back was turned. Not only did I hear the swishing of wind made from 
her hasty escape, but I noted a flash of pink into the dining room from my 
extreme peripheral vision. Without turning around I calmly stated, "Avalon, 
come back to the table and finish your food." 


"How did you know where I was!?" she asked in amazement.


A scene from my childhood sparked in the recesses of my brain. "Don't 
you know that mommies have eyes in the backs of their heads?"


If it was possible for her eyes to grow wider, they did. "How did you get
them, Mommy? When did you get them?" 


I could literally see her logical young mind trying to make sense of my 
claim. "I got them when I became a mommy. You won't have eyes in the
back of your head until you become a mommy." She accepted the explanation 
without further questioning, a rarity, and returned to the table as instructed.


Today I stepped away from the kitchen for some reason and upon returning,
again she was nowhere to be seen. "Avalon, come back and finish your milk."
Instead of the much desired, "Yes, Mother," I heard a creeping then a lunge 
onto a love seat, the back of which faces the kitchen. I leaned over the couch,
and spied a disappointed face. 


"How did you know I was here?" her voice a bit exasperated. 


"I heard you. Don't you know mommies have super hearing?" This time no 
discussion ensued. 


Now in writing this, I think I may know why she wants to be a mommy and 
"only a mommy" when she grows up. Obviously, mommies have superhuman
abilities that other people are not fortunate enough to develop. Who wants 
to go to a job all day when you can have super hearing, extra eyes that permit
you to see everything, and not to mention an unnerving ability to sense when
someone is not telling the truth?


She'll be amazing no matter what she does in the future. Along with being 
proficient in whatever profession she chooses, I know she'll be an excellent
mother. 

Guest Posting Today on Redwood's Medical Edge

I'm a sucker for a good medical thriller, my favorite genre for pleasure reading.

So when I came across a blog devoted to accuracy concerning medical facts

in literature, I was intrigued. Redwood's Medical Edge is author Jordyn 

Redwood's blog. If you're a writer with a medical scene in your WIP (work

in progress), she'll be happy to review it for medical accuracy. I personally

can't stand it when I'm watching a medical show or reading a book containing

medical impossibilities or fallacies. I'm the one shouting at the TV, "You can't 

shock asystole!!" Really how many times will writers make that mistake? 

I was thrilled when Jordyn asked me if I had any ideas for a guest post. Since

the area of nursing I practice is postpartum, I took on the polarizing topic of 

home verses hospital deliveries. An issue many are passionate about. My 

goal in writing this post for Jordyn was to be sure soon to be parents make

an informed decision about where to deliver, knowing the risks and benefits

of both. You can read my guest post on Redwood's Medical Edge here. Thanks,

Jordyn, for the opportunity, and I can't wait to read your new novel, Proof, 
coming out this June!

The Best Laid Plans

The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I've neglected my computer
in attempts to declutter my home and begin preparing for baby number three
to arrive. It might be a bit early yet, but better now than scrambling the week 
before he's due. It's been a challenge considering now I'm a bit anemic 
(taking iron now) and am feeling it. I've been doing a bit everyday, rendering
me completely exhausted by the late afternoon. 


In addition to my new found compulsion to get the house in order, I've also 
been extremely pensive, analyzing my heart and perspectives on life. I like
to plan. I consider multiple possibilities about a certain something, dissect the
pros and cons, decide on the best course of action (according to my brain), 
and make plans accordingly. Good luck changing my mind after I've been 
through this process. However, I've learned a difficult lesson this last month
which has caused me to reassess how I go about making decisions. 


My kids have been attending a wonderful private preschool attached to a 
local church, which also has an excellent elementary and middle school. 
My mom-in-law teaches at another nearby private school which enrolls 
2 year olds through middle school. It's much smaller, newer (only been 
in existence for five years), and Jason (my other half) wanted me to check
it out. Why would I? I thought. The kids' current school is well established,
(my mother went there as a child) nationally recognized blue ribbon, of course
accredited, and had plenty of extracurricular sports. Their school was everything
I wanted. My daughter has sweet little friends there. I saw no need to change.


My husband wouldn't let it go, no matter how many times I expressed my 
opinion. I reluctantly agreed for my daughter to go visit the 4/5 year old 
class at my mom-in-law's school. On the fateful day I showed up about mid 
morning to observe my daughter during the visit. They were cleaning up 
before going outside for recess and then to art class. I had an hour with 
the class teacher and discussed her methods of teaching, curriculum, 
approaches to discipline, and her thoughts on my daughter. She completely
blew me away. I loved everything she said and appreciated her spot on 
assessment of my daughter. We finished with a tour of the facilities, which 
were excellent, especially considering the young age of the school. 


I knew right away, deep down, that this was the perfect setting for my daughter. 
That "knowing" was God. He was gently showing me His plan for my
children. I was teary eyed upon the realization. I had been so sure of the 
right direction for my children. Of course I had prayed that the Lord show me
what to do, but I was positive He agreed with me. I was so sure that I had
already registered my daughter for next year at her current school. With the
registration fee nonrefundable I knew instantly I was out a few hundred 
dollars. It caused a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. What's worse,
after finally having a release from Jason to register her for next year at her
current school a couple weeks earlier, on the way to do so, I had a funny 
feeling that maybe I shouldn't, what we Christians call a "check" in our
spirit. A small voice whispering direction. I had dismissed the feeling. I knew
better! Lesson learned the hard way.


Both my children are now enrolled for next year at the new school. Although
it saddens me to not be returning to their current school next year, I'm 
at peace knowing we're following God. Our plans may seem perfectly 
logical and correct, but God always knows better. I trust my family's future
in His hands much better than in my own. God sees everything, past, present,
future. He knows everything and has our best interests at heart. 


As aftermath from this learning experience, I have naturally questioned other
areas of my life, hence the incredibly pensive last couple weeks. Am I truly
seeking God in all I do? Or am I planning my life and casually running my
plans by the Lord for His check mark of approval without really asking what
His plans are? I have begun to ask the Lord for wisdom in all that I do. I want
His best for me and my family.


"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and
not for evil, to give your a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11, English Standard
Version.

Want a New Distressed Look for your Home? No Problem!

Love that trendy distressed look they have for wood furniture and floors?
Want the look without the price tag? I have just the answer. Within my 
family there is one who will pound, hammer, scrap your wood furniture 
or floors providing that much desired "rustic" look and the feel you've been
searching for. True he only is about 37 inches tall and 30 pounds, but 
don't let his size deceive you. He can pack a punch harder than those
two or three times his size. 


His preferred tools are toy train engines. The tiny wheels leave the perfect 
size indentations for a store bought distressed look. If trains are not available, 
his second favorite tool is a toy wooden hammer. "Isn't that what it's made 
for?" will be the look he'll give you. The one I speak of is quite resourceful,
so if trains and toy hammers are out of reach, he'll gladly use anything lying
around, a coaster, small ottoman, remote control, and the list goes on. 


Did I mention his pricing is more than competitive? As payment for this fresh, 
new distressed look, he requires only a snack of gold fish and juice and 
possibly a diaper change, depending on how extensive the job is. His 
immediate supervisor may wish to accompany him on a job site. She's a
bit taller and will also require gold fish and juice as she directs his efforts.
Of course, the big boss herself (yours truly) will come along to make sure
the working conditions are satisfactory and the workers are being treated
well. FYI - the big boss likes dark chocolate. 


So for the price of a half a bag of gold fish, 16 ounces of juice, and a dark
chocolate candy bar, you too can have a refreshing new look on your 
current wood floors and furniture!

"I Don't Want To"

My two year old's new favorite phrase is, "No, I don't want to." He blurts it
out almost constantly, but especially at mealtimes, nap times, or when I try
to hold his hand crossing parking lots. The latter requires me to pick him 
up while he's kicking, flailing, and screaming until we arrive to safety. I'm
now immune to this embarrassing scene. 


How often do I feel like saying, "I don't want to," or even more appropriately,
"I don't feel like it?" Lately, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and nap. 
True, I have two small children and another one on the way, but stuff still
needs to get done. I still need to keep up with the house, prayer time, and 
my writing. Even as an adult, there are times I wish I could behave like my
son and get away with it. 


Even if just inwardly, we can throw our own little tantrums when something 
doesn't go our way. I'm thankful our Heavenly Father is not only immune 
to them, but covers us with His mercy and grace. This doesn't give us a 
license to behave badly, inwardly or outwardly. However there have been 
times in my life when I, spiritually speaking, was kicking and screaming, 
and God brought me to safety anyway. I'm thankful He's so good to us, 
especially when we don't deserve it. 






  

Strength in Weakness

Silence. A rarity in our home. I'm soaking it in, for it visits briefly. For a 
moment I can hear things I normally wouldn't, the hum of my computer,
a bird singing in the distance (no doubt confused by this wacky Midwest 
weather), the roar of a jet engine thousands of feet above me, the rhythmic
breathing of my dreaming dog, and my own thoughts whirling what seems
at top notch speeds between my uneven ears. 


Taking the time to sit and think is something I don't do often enough. Today
I feel especially pensive. Am I bulldozing through life unaware of my 
surroundings and of my fellow life travelers? Am I being sensitive to those
very closest to me, tender-hearted towards my children and loving husband?
Am I the picture of the mother I envision for my children, the wife my honey
needs? 


We all traverse through times of feeling inadequate or less than ideal. The 
reality is we are inadequate. Harsh? Reality often is. The good news is it's
okay. It's okay to feel like we're not enough or good enough, but with that
self awareness understand we are more than enough when we allow 
Christ to live in and shine through us. By myself I may feel overwhelmed
and like a complete failure as a mother/homemaker, but when I surrender
my will and my plans to the Lord, Jesus Christ, trusting that He knows my
needs even better than I do, suddenly burdens fall from my weary shoulders. 
I find myself peaceful and content. 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9 -10

So what do I take away from this? Know that being human means we will and 
do make mistakes. We struggle. We fail at times. Cut yourself some slack, ask
for forgiveness if needed, give those things to the Lord, and move on towards our
focus, Jesus Christ. True that we are to be immitators of Christ, striving to be
more like Him by walking in love with those around us, but I think too often
we try to do that on our own. What is love again? Love is patient and kind; does 
not envy or boast, doesn't insist on it's own way; it's not irritable or resentful; it
rejoices with the truth, not wrongdoing; it bears all things, hopes all things, 
believes all things, endures all thins. Love never ends. I Corinthians 13:4-8

Looking at that list of what love actually is makes me feel completely lacking,
but then I remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Phillipians 4:13  Today, if you feel inadequate, know that we all really are and
trust our Heavenly Father with your weaknesses. This is how we become the
women, wives, and mothers we've been called to be, with His strength, not
ours.